Ways Moms Can Balance Work and Family
It's never easy being a mom trying to juggle a full-time job with
a family life. Read on for tips on how you can reach an ideal work-life
balance.
More moms than ever are in the workforce. According to American Progress.org,
"women now make up half of all workers in the United States, with nearly 4
in 10 homes having a mom that is also a working mother." Being a full-time
working mother can lead to feelings of guilt and stress because of divided
attention between work and family. The key is to focus on a plan, get
organized, and find the right balance between profession and parenthood. Here
are 10 ways to help make sure both your career and your family flourish.
Let
Go of the Guilt
Rather than dwell on how you're not
with your child, think about how your role in the company is benefiting the family. Perhaps you can afford certain classes or educational opportunities for
your children or you're able to put away savings for college. "The most
successful career moms have found ways to be efficient in both worlds -- and
that requires being able to come to terms with choices and focus on the
priorities that are in the moment," says Lisa Pierson Weinberger, a lawyer
and the founder of the website Mom, Esq. Accept that there will be good and bad
days. Mothers should know they are not alone and they should discuss their
feelings with partners or support groups. Local mom blogs, such as Working Moms
Against Guilt, are a great way to reach out to others trying to find the same
work-home balance.
Find
Quality Childcare
Ask your network of friends and
family for references to nannies, babysitters, and daycare centers. Create a
list of criteria that are important and then schedule time to interview
qualified childcare providers or to tour local daycares. Sharon Tepper, the
president of Brownstone Nannies, Inc., recommends hiring nannies with a history
of long-term commitments to families. This shows they have excellent experience
and are adaptable to various age groups, caring for newborns and older children
who need homework help.
Tepper also encourages families to
schedule a paid playdate with the candidates, because "this playdate
(typically two to four hours) allows the family to evaluate how the nanny
interacts with the child in a less formal setting." A good childcare
provider should have extensive experience, excellent references, and a record
to prove it. A good daycare facility should have flexible hours, a low
teacher-to-student ratio, outdoor space, up-to-date licenses, and employees who
have had their backgrounds checked.
Make
the Mornings Easier
Avoid starting the day on a frazzled
note by getting organized the night before. Pack the kids' lunches, lay out
their clothes (plus your own), and have everyone shower. "You should also
decide what to make for breakfast, and repack the diaper bag, backpacks,
purses, or work bags to be placed by the door, right next to your keys, so you
can grab them and lock up on your way out," suggests Amanda Wiss, the
founder of Urban Clarity, a Brooklyn-based organizing service. Look over the
next day's to-do list and divide the schedule, determining which parent gets
the kids dressed, buys necessary groceries, and cooks the meals. This is also a
good time to discuss any changes to the family schedule. Knowing that a lot of
the mundane tasks are completed will allow you to spend a few minutes eating
breakfast with the kids without rushing out of the house.
Create
and Organize a Family Calendar
Figure out your family's priorities.
A calendar can include dates when bills are due, a chore chart for the kids, a
list of school and family events, extracurricular activities, birthdays, and
more. Wiss suggests using Google calendars, which can be easily shared and
synced on smartphones, because "they are color-coded and get superimposed
on each other, so you can always be on top of scheduling challenges."
Fran Durekas, Founder and Chief
Development Officer for Children's Creative Learning Center, suggests
"setting aside 15 minutes each Sunday to review and prepare for the
upcoming week's schedule. This helps eliminate surprises during the week.
Families should share the calendar with their babysitter or nanny so that
everyone is up-to-date on activities." Staying organized is also about
having a clean environment. Wiss advises having a "family command
station" near an entranceway, where important papers and documents are
placed, along with keys, chargers, batteries and petty cash. Carving out
dedicated spots will save time and improve efficiency in your home.
Communicate
with Your Employer
Before talking to your employer or
HR representative, construct a written plan detailing what you need. Weinberger
suggests "researching whether other employees have flexible arrangements and
using this information to your advantage... This information will help tailor
your proposal to the terms that your employer has already embraced with your
coworkers." Every employer is different, and only you will know how much
to share, but try to be as open and honest as possible. Be prepared to present
alternative solutions, such as a trial period of your projected work schedule
so you can show how the arrangement won't restrict productivity.
Moms seeking maternity leave should
ask questions when speaking with a supervisor. The two biggest questions to ask
are "How much time can I take off?" and "How much of that time
will be paid?" Discuss using short-term disability or vacation/sick time
to cover some of your time away from the office. Weinberger adds, "It's
best to know those answers to avoid any confusion during your leave."
Stay
Connected During the Day
Stay connected with your children
even when you're not together. For moms with younger kids, consider recording
yourself talking or singing on a video or record your voice reading along to a
children's (Hallmark has a series of recordable storybooks). If you're going to
miss or be late to an older child's event, give her something special in the
morning, like a good-luck charm or a personal note. Look into options for
filming the event so you can watch it later and not miss a moment. Hang
pictures of yourself and your partner so the kids can see your faces. During
your breaks at work, call your child; hearing her can help you get through a
rough day, and she'll be comforted to know you're near.
Limit
Distractions and Time Wasters
Be disciplined and set time limits
when checking email or making phone calls, things you can do when the kids are
sleeping. Reduce TV watching to once a week to maximize time with your partner
during the evenings. Try to avoid multitasking, especially when spending time
with your children. At your workplace, try to avoid wasting time. Of course you
want to have a rapport with coworkers, but numerous email exchanges, casual Internet
surfing, gossiping, and long lunches are distractions that will make you less
productive. Focus on your tasks at work and talk to coworkers during breaks or
lunchtime.
Create
Special Family Activities
Making time for your kids is
crucial, both during the week and on the weekends, to nurture your family
dynamic and allow everyone to bond. If you're pressed for time, have a family
breakfast or a family night with board games or movies. "Create activities
that regularly fit into your schedule so everyone knows what to expect and what
to look forward to," Wiss suggests. When you do have family outings, avoid
talking about work or checking your phone. Instead, focus on your kids'
interests such as friends, classes, and hobbies. With older children, ask for their
activity suggestions and try to meet their needs. In the end, it doesn't really
matter what you do as long as you do it together.
Spend
Time with Your Partner
Remember to nurture your
relationship with your partner, who will often be the number one person by your
side. Start by having monthly date nights to get closer, feel rejuvenated, and
enjoy each other's company. Often, if you're busy with work and home, your
partner is the first to get neglected. Fostering this relationship will bring
back some excitement to the marriage or partnership and help you to "check
in" with each other. For some couples, going out on a monthly date can be
difficult and expensive, but that doesn't mean you can't focus on each other.
Have an indoor date night by cooking an elegant meal together or even sitting
together with a glass of wine and talking (but not about work or the kids).
Create
Moments for Yourself
By managing time wisely, you can fit
in valuable "me" time regularly. A refreshing break will help you
recharge while taking care of personal needs. "Because your time is
divided between your home and your career, make sure to manage your energy
well. You can't be an effective spouse or parent if you're cranky, so take time
to care for yourself to feel relaxed and effective," says Wiss. Lose
yourself in a book before you go to sleep, take a bubble bath once a week, or
treat yourself to a spa day. Fit in time for exercise (like a yoga class) or
focus on a hobby. Remember to eat well and get enough rest -- simple things
that even the smartest moms neglect.
